The Images may be one of the biggest obstacle in getting over an affair
Getting over an affair that your spouse had isn’t an easy thing to do. Especially with all the images that keep playing in your head like a movie or like a slideshow. It is definitely not in your best interest to keep thinking about the images if you want to make your marriage work again. However, it is almost impossible to stop as you feel compelled to let the slideshow play even though you know you will end up getting hurt. It’s like a child pushing on the tooth that has cavity knowing that it’s going to make it worse.
The images might make you feel like you are drowning in an emotional quicksand as you react physically, emotionally and spiritually to them. With every new slideshow, you get more and more pulled into the dark abyss of emotional hurt from where it seems there is no coming back. It’s like a living nightmare that you just can’t wake up from.
It’s quite common for the images to keep lingering in the mind months even years after the affair had taken place. This is what makes getting over an affair so hard.
How to get over an affair by eliminating the images?
There is a simple exercise recommended by Dr. Gunzburg (the creator of How To Survive an Affair) on how to eliminate the images. But be wary, that this exercise might not work for you and if it doesn’t you can stop doing it. If it does help you in feeling better, then you can continue this exercise. The exercise consists of three simple steps for getting over an affair and eliminating the images.
1. Find a place and time for the images. You need to set a time during the day and a quiet place where you can sit and contemplate about the images. It does sound counterintuitive but it has worked for many people. The concept here is that the images don’t control your thoughts anymore; instead, you are the one who will control the images.
2. Invite the images in. Instead of the images coming to out of nowhere, you take control of your thoughts and invite the images. This way you don’t feel like a victim to this mental torture and are more in control of yourself.
3. Once you get the images, you can manipulate the images in your mind. One way to do this is hit the rewind button and make the images play in reverse. Play the fantasy backwards, whether it’s a slideshow or a movie. For some people, this will work in feeling a lot better. But if it doesn’t, stop immediately as it may make you feel worse.
Remember, that there are many others just like you who are suffering from this same problem and you are not alone. It’s normal to question your sanity when you can’t get yourself to stop the images in your mind. But if you know that it’s a common after effect of an affair, you may feel a lot better about it. You can start healing with a free course on getting over an affair by clicking here.
I am still having trouble dealing with the anger. It has been a year and a half since I found out. We take 3 steps forward and then 2 steps back. When things get going really good again ( I think we are closer now in some ways than ever in our marriage) he will do something that makes me supecious and I get all paranoid that he still longs for her. She is a bar tender and he still goes to the bar without me 3 – 4 days a week. He says that she means nothing to him, but why can’t he stay out of her place of business? This is making me crazy. Every time I start to trust him I find them talking or texting. He jsut lost a close friend and he had to text her to discuss it because they both took care of him the same way. I am his wife and I can not understand this.