The most common question people ask after having affairs in marriage is “Will my marriage ever be the same again?” The question does make sense. After all the emotional and mental torture and sometimes physical abuse, it’s only natural to yearn for the carefree and loving relationship you had before the affairs in marriage.
Most people believe that they had a loving and caring relationship with their spouse before the affairs in marriage and despite what the cheater says, they believe that even the cheater was happy with the marriage. Although, they might be right about this, it’s not logical to want to take your marriage back the way it was before the affair.
Let’s look at it this way, the cheater made some decisions which lead him to the path of infidelity in marriage. Even though your marriage was happy, it wasn’t “Infidelity proof”. If your marriage becomes the same as it was before the affairs in marriage, there is a chance that another incidence of infidelity may occur again.
Besides, the affair has happened and there is no way you can take that back. It has changed the course of your relationship and your life once and for all. Your marriage will be a lot different than it was before. But it doesn’t mean that it can’t be loving, caring and carefree relationship that you yearn for. In fact, there have been many cases where the marriage has become a lot better after the affairs in marriage.
So the real question that you need to ask is: How do you want your marriage to be in the future?
You will definitely need a lot of hard work and a lot of other ingredients to make your marriage the way you want it to be. But to boil it down to the basics, here is the list of things you will need.
Love: No marriage can survive without love. It is the main ingredient in the recipe of a successful marriage. Even though you might feel repugnant to the cheater, you must be willing to love him/her again for the sake of the marriage.
Commitment: Both of you must be committed to make the marriage work. There will be many difficult time in the process and you may feel like quitting. But if you are both committed to make it work, you will make it work and make it better than ever.
Hard Work: You will face many emotional and mental challenges in the process. Unless you are willing to work hard for your marriage, there is a very slim chance of you surviving after the affairs in marriage.
Knowledge: The final ingredient is knowing how to make the marriage work and how to handle the obstacles and problems you will face in doing so. Without proper knowledge, you can fail even though you have the rest of the three ingredients.
There is a very good chance of your marriage become better than ever and if you are ready to start working on it, then you should start with Dr. Frank Gunzburg, Ph.D. free course on healing after an affair.